Today marks 100 days since we've been waiting to return to Ethiopia to bring our daughter home. I'll be very honest... These last 100 days have been days filled with hope and despair, joy and sorrow, celebrations and missed milestones. But as I've wrestled with God even just these last few days, He has shown me something I've been completely missing... Himself. His promises.
For the last six months or so, our family has started doing daily bible readings after dinner. We are using the NIV Family Reading Bible that walks young families through daily readings and offers questions for the kids (and parents) for discussion afterwards. Shani typically does some coloring and singing to herself while Micah listens quite attentively (most nights)so he can earn a stickers as rewards for right answers. Motivation is a good thing! :)
We were moving right along through the Bible until we can to Psalm 100. We've been "stuck" on it for a good month now. It has become our nightly reading with BOTH kiddos learning more and more of it by heart. It wasn't until I watched this video of Micah, read the words myself, and listened WITH my own heart that I realized God "stuck" us with this desire to read this nightly, so His words would penatrate our hearts and we would live boldy and confidently His promises.
Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth,
Worship the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is He who made us, and we are His;
We are His people, the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
and His courts with praise;
Give thanks to Him and praise His name.
For the Lord is good and His love endures forever;
His faithfulness continues through all generations.
God called us to this miraculous journey of adoption, but I have allowed my heart to be in despair because the timeline is simply not matching up to my expectations.
I have leaned on my own understanding of things and my American expectations of how things should work.
God's Word says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Seeing others travel before us that were orginally "after us"... I have felt left behind... forgotten... I've questioned how God is purposing this all for good.
I say it again... God's word SAYS, "For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." (Psalm 100:5)
And then I heard a quite whisper today, reminding me that this journey is not just the journey of myself, my hubby and our two precious children kids here in our arms. God may be using our sweet angel in Ethiopia in ways mysterious to us. Can a 1-year-old be used by God? Most certainly! Every day that passes, our hearts grow dearer to hers. Yet, she is thriving in the care of the nannies of the care center. She is growing and learning and loving and sharing in her birth culture. God is growing in her a testimony too. This is her journey to her forever family. Does God long for her to be in a forever family? Yes! One who has despaired over the days they have missed sharing with her? No!
So, I purpose for as many days of "waiting" yet to come, to do so with boldness and confidence in His promises for each of His children.
I love the song "While I am Waiting" by John Wallen. I am moved each time I hear it in the movie Fireproof. But, as I closed my eyes and listened to the words last night... I heard God confirming what He needs from us right now... while we wait on Him and His plan for us...
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait
The song recognizes that waiting can be painful but we can remain hopeful; that waiting is not easy but it can be peaceful... if we wait on/in/and through Him.
If you are an adoptive Mommy/Daddy I pray you'll be touched by this song...
For all others... whatever you are waiting for (answers, jobs, clarity, direction), I pray you will do so in and through Him.