Sunday, April 18, 2010

A Waiting Mother's Heart...

Ah yes... "waiting"... I've been thinking a lot lately about what that really means and what that has looked life, especially in my adult life. How I've yearned for things, right here, right now. How I've planned for things. And, yet, how God had me wait. Wait. Wait.

My plan: married at 23, first kiddo at 25, and 2nd kiddo... certainly by 30 (I didn't want to be too old when I was having a young family). God's plan... wait! Wait for the one love He had chosen for me. But, it would have been so much easier if he would have just whispered, "Precious child, you'll meet him when you are 28, please don't despair." But, would I have truly found comfort in those precious words or would I have then argued "28? But that means we won't have our first child until I'm (AH! horrors!) 30!" Wait... child... wait.

Our China adoption: it would be just an 18 month wait. 6 months of paperwork... then the wait lengthens and lengthens... and God says "wait"... and then... "I have another plan that you won't even believe I have in store for you." Not China... but Ethiopia!

More paperwork, waiting for a referral of a beautiful baby, waiting for court, waiting for travel... at last we are a family!

God ends our wait for China after 2.89 years... after a lot of waiting... and a lot of praying...

As we begin our 2nd Ethiopian adoption I can't stop thinking about "waiting". And, what is it that we are waiting for?

* We are waiting to see God's plan for our family unfold.

* We are waiting to see the precious girl He alone has picked to join us in this life.

* We are waiting on His timing. Through our first amazing journey of international adoption we learned that all we could really "control" is when we start the journey. Leaving the rest completely in His hands and having us expectantly wait... THAT is His plan.

* We are waiting to see His plan for OUR FAMILY, not comparing our journey to other families, but waiting to see what He has in store for US.

* We are expectantly waiting... a joyous addition... whom we can pour our love and lives into!

And yet... in the beautiful land of Ethiopia, where we witnessed first hand the amazing love of it's people and of God and His Spirit living among them so purely... we know...

* There is extreme famine... there is poverty... there is hardship we could not bear...

And as we wait... at this very moment...
* There may be a beautiful mother waiting for her child to be born, unsure of how to care for her and/or fearful that she may not even survive the birth herself...

* There may be a father looking in the eyes of his baby girl right now; waiting for help, waiting for answers, waiting for hope...

* There may be a mother or father making a long journey... on a long, dusty road... the hardest journey, with the most difficult decision he/she has ever faced... giving up his/her child because they simply can't help her survive.

* There may be a baby girl laying alone, abandoned, only under God's watchful eye... right now...

We are waiting for the God of Heaven and Earth to reach down and make His purpose known.

For us, international adoption is so much more than a "paperwork pregnancy". It is a journey of life: of our lives, of a Ethiopian family's lives, and of God blending the families into one because it is somehow, his good and perfect will... It is heart-breaking and joy-filling all at the same time!

These are the words in my heart. A waiting mother's heart...

Psalm 130:5... "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope."

1 comment:

  1. I am reminded yet again of what a wonderful person you are! Love to you all.

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